


Birthday Blues

by drneocortex



Category: Crash Bandicoot (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Decisions, Birthday, Birthday Party, Cortex actually feels guilt, FUCKONG COSRTEX, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Gen, Redemption, Short One Shot, but i love writing, hes h hes fucjing dspoiled, i kinda do and dont like this fic it makes me embarrassed, idk i dont know how to tag lol, is 3k words a short fic lol, redemption arc within 3k words, the mutants are his kids basically, there is a crash 4 reference in here about dingodile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26491513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drneocortex/pseuds/drneocortex
Summary: It's Cortex's birthday! But he's in for a rude awakening about the truth of how people really feel about him when he heavily expects a party because why wouldn't he? He's superior and he deserves it.(Fic is mainly centered around my Family AU that I'm currently trying to rewrite; certain part in the fic + AU heavily implies a certain canon Crash 4 event)
Kudos: 18





	Birthday Blues

Cortex sat on the edge of his bed, looking into a handheld mirror as he frowned upon the reflection that glazed back at him. He lightly touched his face, brushing over the bruises visible on his yellow skin and the fair amount of bandages that covered any ones that were worse than just sore, discolored skin or injuries that needed basic medical treatment like scrapes and scratches. He lightly traced a finger along the purple and red bruising at the bottom of one of the eyelids before flinching and retreating his hand back. He hissed lowly at the stinging response his face gave. 

Cortex signed. He looked like a moth-eaten mess. That fight with the bandicoots a couple of days ago really did take a toll on him, he didn't expect such recovery from it all to take so long. That, or Cortex was just impatient, like, of course he would. Plus, he looks dang near dreadful, he couldn’t even go out looking like this! 

_ Not like he was going to leave the lair for good while anyways… _

Cortex groaned as his head ached. His head still hurt from that massive collision between his huge, yellow head and Crunch's massive, metal arm. He remembered that he almost blacked out from it afterwards, his brain hitting his skull so hard that his vision wacked out. Cortex rubbed his head in anguish. That robotic arm of Crunch's could've been classified as a murder weapon if done more damage to the mad doctor.

Putting the mirror down, Cortex shifted his gaze around the room. He couldn't focus on what his brain is telling him to do next from this massive headache. A day where he could be working on another plan to try and get back at Crash and his weird, fuzzy marsupial duo ruined by instead him trying to recover from post-I-Lost-Once-Again-to-an-Moronic-Cheeto-Puff injuries. 

Cortex looked back towards the door to see the same red-haired, rocket-headed Igor he has kept around for years waddle into the room. He was carrying a tray with a small plate with a tea cup on it. His eyes were focusing on it carefully, making sure that it won’t tip over or drop the tray entirely. 

N. Gin carefully put the tray on the nightstand before picking up the small, porcelain tea cup and handing it to the injured doctor right next to him. Cortex didn't hesitate to take the cup of hot tea into his palms and looked down at it with the most miserable look he could muster. He could feel the steam hit his face, unsure if feeling such heat would help with the throbbing head pain he was experiencing. 

"Thank you, N. Gin," He mumbled before sipping a bit from the cup. He smiled a bit once he felt the warmness of the liquid slide down this throat, a perfect distraction that soothed his screaming head for a second.

N. Gin fidgeted his hands and smiled brightly at Cortex's response. "O-Oh yes!" He chirped all of a sudden. "Happy...birthday, master!"

Cortex made a look. He took another sip from his cup as he looked at N. Gin in the eye with immense confusion before placing the cup down once again. 

_"Birthday?"_ He inquired. "Who said anything about a birthday?"

"Have you forgotten, master? I-It's your birthday today." N. Gin explained. "I-I...er...we celebrate it every year."

"I know what a birthday is, you buffoon!" Cortex spat. "I just do not recall it being my birthday today."

"W-Well it is..! You told me...long ago methinks," N. Gin replied. "Happy birthday, master!" 

Cortex blinked. He stroked his chin as he tried to remember anything about him and his birthday. Of course, his throbbing head didn't help with this...but Cortex wasn't going to let that prevent him from remembering a very important day in his life. Then, somewhere in the back of his mind, floods back into his memory. His eyes widened once he realized that today was in fact his actual birthday.

"Oh...OH! Yes, yes, _NOW_ I remember!" Cortex exclaimed. Taking another sip from his cup, he placed the cup and plate back down onto the tray before raising a brow at the rocket-headed Igor in front of him. 

"Do you have...anything planned?" 

Cortex couldn’t help but let his ego absorb him as his brain immediately wondered (maybe even expected) a planned birthday party of some sort, one with presents, cake themed after him, and loaded with attention. His fantasies then began to morph into an idealistic wonderland, everyone being peasants including all of the evil scientists and infernal bandicoots that he knew, giving him the respect Cortex believed he deserved. A large golden crown placed down on his head by an unknown being before a large, velvet throne with the usual metallic 'N' rose up from the ground, destroying the floor from beneath him and scooping him up. 

Cortex sat like a king, and he couldn't help but smile so cunningly as all of the worthless peasants, regardless of familiarity, began to bow to him as if he were a god. He was powerful...loved by all...it is truly how his birthday should go. 

But that was only but a fantasy. Cortex practically drooled at it as he visibly drifted off into his idealistic world he constantly dreamt before being pulled back into the miserable place called _"reality"_ when he heard N. Gin call for his attention.

"Uh, master?" N. Gin called out. "Are you there? I said, not really…"

Cortex was confused after noticing his surroundings weren't as expected. This only made him frown and pout like a child. It was only a few minutes and he literally let himself blur the lines between fiction and reality, and oh boy, he wished it wasn't fiction. Along with that, hearing that N. Gin had nothing planned for his birthday made Cortex's frown deepen-- _no,_ not deepen, it made his whole face crack. Distorted. His frown turned into an aggressive set of gritting teeth as one his eyes twitched with the awful mix of shattered expectations and pure rage.

"YOU WHAT?!?!" Cortex roared, not caring that his head is now throbbing from the immense anger. 

N. Gin flinched and cowered under the infuriated scientist. For a second there he was just calm, yet miserable, and now he's so mad that his heart could up and struggle at any second. Even if he's been working for him for a good while, this'll never be something N. Gin would be used to -- in fact, it amazes him how Cortex could be angry over something as hearing that there's nothing special for him planned for his birthday.

"I-I'm sorry, Dr. Cortex!! I...I didn't know that...th-that there should've been something p-planned for you!" N. Gin stuttered. 

He didn't know that it was a requirement. No one ever told him! Even his own boss forgets about his birthday because he's so over heels about killing bandicoots.

"OF COURSE, THERE SHOULD'VE BEEN SOMETHING!" Cortex yelled. "I am your BOSS. I took you under my wing and gave you the position as my assistant and gave you a roof over your HEAD. And you can't do something as simple as plan a party for me when you KNEW it was my birthday? How could you? I shouldn't even have to tell you that! You MORON!"

N. Gin could do nothing but frown as Cortex scolded his ear off. He just slowly nodded his head while softly saying _"Yes, master,"_ as a response to whatever bullcrap Cortex yelled at him about. This was over a birthday party...the entitlement!

As Cortex yelled his lungs out he suddenly stopped once his head throbbed enough to tell him to knock it off. It felt like he was being stabbed now. Cortex groaned as he quickly held his head in agony. 

"Ugh...see what you did? My poor head is aching all over again!" He whined. "Just get out of my sight! I've had ENOUGH of your presence, get lost!"

N. Gin nodded his head. He turned around and quickly waddled out the room, looking down at the floor and shifting his hands over each other. He looked like a puppy that've been smacked. Cortex scoffed as he walked out, still rubbing his aching head.

"And you BETTER come up with something for me while you're gone!" Cortex added, a second late.

He wasn't sure if N. Gin heard that. Did he? He better have. If not, Cortex would do something really dire to that fool...just he couldn't think of it at the moment. 

Cortex sat himself back down onto his bed.

He began to daydream of the biggest party ever, once again it being all for him and drifting back into that fiction-reality mixing fantasy of here he's more than just the birthday boy of his own party. This made Cortex smile, giggle even. He let himself giggle like a little school girl before suddenly stopping to look around the room to see if anybody heard.

All the yellow scientist had to do was sit and wait. He was expectant to have his fantasy become a reality, and he could only know for sure once he is given a simple surprise. 

So he did; sitting on his bed, waiting for a sign or something to happen for him to know that a party or a cake or even a wondrous gift was here, waiting for him. Cortex waited. And then he waited. He waited some more and he waited again. 

He kept waiting...

What time is it? How long has it been?

Cortex was laying on his bed feeling as stiff as a plank of wood. The weird mix of comfort and warmth almost making him drowsy but he couldn't sleep yet! He had to see if there's a super special birthday surprise going about. If he misses it due to stupid human bodily functions he'd literally beat himself to hell and back. Cortex sat up from his bed, rubbing his crooked neck that was now aching besides his head. Luckily, his head felt better than it was a while ago and all it needed was a good rest. He got off of the bed and decided to see what's taking so long.

Maybe he was being impatient? He didn't have a clock on him so Cortex couldn't tell how long it's been since he saw N. Gin. Since he chewed out N. Gin… remembering that queerly made his face flush into a light shade of red. 

Cortex was walking down the halls of the castle. It was dead silent, almost making Cortex feel oddly afraid like someone dangerous was in his home but he didn't know who...or where they were. Maybe...he shouldn't have yelled at N. Gin over a silly announcement. Yes, it's disappointing but looking back, it made Cortex look like he's a spoiled eight year old. Remembering what he did made him feel...humiliated. But why was he caring how he felt? What about N. Gin? How did N. Gin feel? 

Cortex shook his head. No, he should've known better. It's his birthday, he knew. He has the ability to throw him a party. Wasn't that simple, enough? 

Cortex continued to ponder as he began walking down the cold, stone stairs. Should he apologize to N. Gin? Or was he in the right all along? It scared Cortex of the fact that the castle is so darn quiet! By now he should've been hearing his mutants doing their little mutant-y things, like the sound of a flamethrower going off or maybe the sound of a Tommy gun emptying its round of bullets at a poor target. But his ears didn't hear anything of the matter. 

Were they really throwing a party for him?

Or maybe… 

Maybe he wasn't going to have one at all? 

Cortex couldn't remember the last time he properly celebrated his birthday. He was so busy plotting for world domination and the destruction of Crash Bandicoot that he never even thought to sit down and celebrate it for once. He's been so far down the rabbit hole of trying to achieve his nefarious goals that he even forgot all about his day of birth,

and honestly...after what he did to N. Gin, he probably deserved it. Cortex deserves not to get anything in return after what he did. He's entitled. Freaking spoiled rotten. He does feel shameful for what he did, however. Just THINKING about it makes Cortex look down at the floor and blushed out of guilt. 

Even if he bothered to celebrate his birthday in past years of his life, he probably would've celebrated it alone or with N. Gin and that would've been it.

It wouldn't be anything big and flashy like he hoped. Not many people would be there -- I mean, who _would?_

Cortex would just yell at them all and demand things. He would yell and get angry at anyone over the smallest of things. It's just common sense to not be a jerk like this, it's just basic knowledge to not be so expectant of things because of a birthday. No one wants to be around a person like that. Cortex has so many flaws that he never even bothered to straighten out that all it does is drive his relationships with others into the dust.

Cortex looked down at the velvet carpet he was now standing on. He frowned when he came to the conclusion that...people don't actually like him. Like with Brio, for example. If Cortex treated him a bit better, maybe never installed those awful bolts into his head (so friggin' abusive…) and used them against the poor man when he blew a fuse, maybe Brio would've still been here by now. What about Tropy? What can he say about him? Cortex really did ruin the lives of so many people that he can't remember them all, and even then all the people he harmed would've still hated him anyways. 

Why was Cortex so sorry and guilty all of a sudden? Was it because he wasn't getting a party?...or was it because he's now realizing the faults of his actions? Realizing that no birthday would be a good one without any friends at all. He had no friends, he refuses to properly befriend anyone due to his corrupt character and misanthropy. And if there WAS a party, it'll be the crappiest one of the year. It'll be remembered with somber eyes, as it would be the somberest of all birthday parties. 

He's going to be alone for the rest of his life.

The scientist's face sunk into a mask of gloom. So sad that the room could turn into dark shades of the most depressing grays. His whole mood was wiped out to afoot. He wasn't sure if this was something that could be easily recovered from, either.

Cortex dragged his feet as he led himself into the kitchen. If he was going to sulk about the terrible truth about his life, he might as well do it with a tub of lemon custard while listening to his Spotify playlist for the 7th time. 

Just like he always does.

Sighing, Cortex faced the blackness that consumed the whole kitchen. It was black like his soul (corny, ain't it?) and slowly, he placed his hand on the kitchen wall to find the light switch. He wasn't expecting anything upon this point. All he wanted now was to eat some custard and cry himself to sleep. A nap sure does sound good right about now…

There was a loud _klik!_ and in a split second, the lights came on to show something that made Cortex's face abruptly change for the better.

**"SURPRISE!!"**

Cortex flinched when something colorful, glittery and papery popped out in front of his face. He sputtered, waving his hands and wiping his face. He dusted off whatever just exploded in front of him before prying his eyes open to see exactly what it was. The evil scientist looked at his gloved hands and blood red turtleneck, only to discover that it was covered in colorful, squared bits of paper and holographic star glitter. The same material was scattered all over the floor as well, and Cortex immediately took a notice that it was falling through the air like snow all around him.

"Confetti…?" Cortex interrogated. 

He was confused. Confetti? In his KITCHEN? He thought people hated him!

Cortex looked up from his messy attire to be met with many more things that were equally as colorful and as festive as the bits of party material that'll soon be later a pain to clean up. Big, bright balloons; streamers hung corner to corner of the walls; his table covered with white cloth, also covered in the same dastardly paper bits that are now in Cortex's hair; and a big, colorful sheet cake.

The cake was white with the classic foral lacing done with frosting in primary colors. There were balloons drawn in frosting and bits of sprinkles scattered about. In the middle, **"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CORTEX!"** was written in cursive (and also with frosting) at the bottom and a miniature figure of Cortex himself sat at the middle. Two separate candles in the shape of whatever number it's supposed to form to represent Cortex's current age sat above the lettering and miniature Cortex, brightly lit and ready to be blown out. And is that mini Cortex made of  _ fondant? _

Cortex's eyes couldn't look away from the festive world that is his birthday party. He didn't know what to say! 

What's even better was that his own mutants were here, standing right in front of him with bright smiles and standing in a celebratory stance of which its very obvious that they're getting tired of standing in. 

Pinstripe, Ripper Roo, Tiny Tiger, Koala Kong and the Komodo Brothers all stood around the table, some wearing party hats and some holding already popped confetti poppers in their hands. 

"Happy Birthday, Dr. Cortex!" They all yelled in unison. 

Before Cortex could say a word, he was interrupted by one of the mutants (Komodo Moe) going over to the counter, grabbed something from it, and placed it onto Cortex's big head. It sat snug around it, and it glittered in the light just like the star glitter that covered the evil doctor's clothes. 

It was a gold crown, plastic as all heck but hey, it's the thought that counts! This made the scientist smile, almost tear up even. But no, he wasn't any crybaby. He's an evil scientist. Future world dominator! He didn't want "crying on his 40-something-ith birthday" to be on his record.

"Sorry that Dingo isn't 'ere, boss" Pinstripe said, rubbing the back of his head apprehensively. "Some...things happened and--er--uh-- he just couldn't make it!" 

Cortex gave a slight nod in response, not paying any attention to Komodo Moe, who was sweeping away at the confetti and glitter that was still on his boss's clothes. Not like he didn't mind, anyway. 

"Ssssso we decccided to ccccelebrate without him," Komodo Joe added. "Er...ssssurprise!" 

The mutants then all pulled out a seat to sit in. Komodo Moe pulled up a seat for Cortex as well, and Cortex did not hesitate to plop himself down into the chair provided. The room was quiet. The doctor couldn't help but notice that everyone looked at him and suddenly were all a bit nervous. It felt awkward, and it made Cortex frown a bit.

What, do they think he was upset? That he's going to yell at any moment that this birthday party looked like something made for 6 year olds at a Chuck E Cheese? This is literally one of the best birthday parties Cortex has ever had since...forever!

Even better: **there's no clowns!**

Pinstripe frowned as he looked at Cortex's face. It looked withdrawn and confused. He hoped that they didn't do anything wrong when he walked in. Maybe they shouldn't have pulled the confetti poppers…

After a second later, Tiny spoke up.

"Dr. Cortex not speaking," he said with his broken English. "Did we do bad?"

Pinstripe sighed. "Yeah, Tiny's right." He agreed. " Boss, are yous okay? You good?" 

"Of course, I'm alright you nitwits." Cortex said in an upfront tone. "Never better!"

"Then why you not smiling?" Tiny said, a bit of sadness seeping into his voice. 

"This is just...a lot to take in."

"To take _in..?"_ Tiny questioned. He blinked, his ears perking up in confusion on what exactly his boss meant. 

"Is this too much for ya?" Koala Kong butted in. "Because we planned this with N. Gin and everything. If it's too much for yas, we understand and we're sorry."

When Kong mentioned N. Gin, Cortex's stomach turned into a painful, deep, dark pit filled with nothing but guilt. So there WAS something planned! And Cortex had to just make N. Gin's day even worse but snapping at him over --

Cortex shook his head.  **_Stop it._ ** Just stop it. 

The scientist let out a heavy sigh. Poor, poor N. Gin…

"Why are you guys acting like this? I said I was fine." Cortex explained. "Trust me! You didn't do anything. I just haven't had a real birthday party in years."

Cortex gave the mutants a small smile. 

"I love this party." He said softly.

It looked genuine and warm, which put all of the mutants in the room at ease. Pinstripe smiled at this. He smiled at Cortex's response. They did  _ good _ . And Cortex freaking loves it that he's so calm now. You barely even see this from him!

Pinstripe chuckled as he pulled out a large golden bottle of what Cortex could assume to be champagne. This made Cortex's smile widened, as he knows that this day is going to get even better from now on.

"That's what I wanna hear!" Pinny exclaimed. " LET'S GET THIS PARTY **STARTED!!** " 

He stabbed a pocket knife, that he pulled out of god knows where, in the cork and ripped it out. A small trail of the contents sprayed out as the marsupial laughed and poured his fellow mutants a glass. Cortex chuckled as he leaned over to get a glass full of the sparkling, golden liquor himself. 

"Ay, why don' we start gettin' some of that cake too?" Pinstripe suggested. "Tha' candle wax is startin' to get all ova' it! YO N. GIN!!"

By the time Cortex sat back down in his seat, a nice glass of champagne in his hand, he turned his head around to see the red-haired Igor waddle in. He was smiling, all giddy while holding a large chef's knife.

"I..I couldn't find the cake cutter." N. Gin said with a giggle. "BUT THAT'S OK! I found something better!"

The Igor walked over to the table with the knife and held it over the sheet cake. Everyone then looked at the doctor, who quickly picked off a couple of confetti pieces from his hair before staring back at the audience that truly loved him. One of the mutants pushed the cake towards him. The candles were starting to melt and the little Cortex on it was sweating. 

"Make a wish."

Cortex looked at N. Gin again, who looked back at him with a smile. He gave him a small nod, nonverbally telling him to go on and blow out the melting candles on his cake.

  
  


After this, Cortex has some apologizing to do.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic for fun and to just get something out. I hope it's ok! I don't think im really good with writing boohoo angst stuff like this. I wrote it late at night anyways so it might not be great. I personally kind of don't like it.
> 
> I'm also releasing this and made this because it's my birthday today!!
> 
> oh yeah i also think i like describing Cortex more as a "doctor" than an evil scientist. i might refer him as such from now on.
> 
> aight see you next fic


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